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O the things you find in a recycle bin. Lmao

Don’t you get it ryan? All I want is to be with you. Plain and simple. And I’m so scared you don’t feel the same way I do. And if you do, its really hard to tell. I’m not a mind reader, I can’t tell how you’re feeling and what your thoughts are. I don’t know what you want. I know what I want and it isn’t Michael. You never gave me the chance to explain that 75% of the reason I went back was because he pressured me. Saying that if I didn’t get back that I would lose him forever. And for me, I wasn’t worried about losing him as a boyfriend. I was scared of losing my best friend because that’s all he is. And the other 25% of me thought that you just wanted to be single and that this would never work because of the distance. I’ve been just waiting to hear you say that I’m wrong and that what you want is to try to make a relationship outta this. And I’m not saying I want a relationship from you right this moment. But I’d like to know that your like…idk want something more. Idk how else to explain it.  

Like I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. and I feel that I’ve gone to the ends of the earth to make sure I talk to you and go and see you every chance I get. I’m def not saying you haven’t either. I mean you’ve gone and picked me pretty much every night when I was home and brought me back home too. And I appreciated it more than you know.  

Its so crazy how I wake up, and the first thing I think about is texting you. Saying good morning and seeing what you’re up to. I not only love talking to you but also being around you. I can honestly say whole heartedly that I fell in love with you Ryan. Hard.  and I think the one thing I’m scared of more than anything is for you to say that you don’t feel that way too.

Right now I’m trying to take the foot out of mouth. And I wish I could make things better. And I’m sorry if I hurt you. please know that it wasn’t my intention at all. But please can you talk to me about it. I hate the fact that your upset and I just want to make it all better.

And if you don’t want to talk to me anymore or even maintain a friendship I understand. But please know I’ll always be here for you and I’ll always love you.

AND NOW ITS ON THE INTERNET FOR ALL TO SEE. GOOD DAY!